Let's Talk About Boys

Hi!

It's been a while.

Tonight I'm experiencing one of those moments when a million thoughts are circulating in my analytical head, and I need to write something down.

(Isn't it funny how I said down? Do we not also write things "up" sometimes? Anyway...)

Boys.

Here's the thing. I've observed a whole bunch of interesting media on this topic, and I've also listened to how people respond to it and interpret it.

This is what I believe to be true: as women, we want to be loved. We want to be respected. We want to be valued and heard and noticed for who we are.

Some of us have jumped on to a bandwagon of "female empowerment" in which we think that by exhibiting "sexiness" or "as much of ourselves as we want", we are doing ourselves a favor. This is easily its own topic for another time, but how are we really helping ourselves out when we emphasize our bodies as our most important and empowering features? Even if we do fit the glove of an ideal "beautiful woman", how does being recognized for my outward body make me -the person I AM, inside and out- feel truly loved?

It's a bit of propaganda I just don't understand.

Personally, I keep myself covered up because I want to be remembered and acknowledged for my voice, my thoughts, my feelings, my likes, my dislikes, my quirks.

Not for a distractingly showy appearance. 

And I'm not saying our bodies don't matter. But my physical body is just a small, small part of who I really am.

Moving along.

In a great deal of mainstream media, women are portrayed in an extremely assertive role as the one who wears the pants, so to speak. A common message is that the woman alone possesses enough brains to make informed decisions, and think critically.

And what about the guys?

Well, sometimes they are portrayed as complete dummies! And what's sadder, often men are accepted as animalistic humans, who only care about fighting, food, and lust.

But something else insidious is happening to the men of our generation.

I can't help but notice that in so many movies, advertisements, commercials, magazines, etc. men are becoming objectified just like women.

Let me define "objectified", just to be clear:

verb (used with object), objectified, objectifying.

1.

to present as an object, especially of sight, touch, or other physical sense; make

 objective; externalize.

Externalize. Do you realize what that means? By displaying and ogling over an image of a muscular, shirtless man, we are emphasizing and fantasizing over his outside features and completely ignoring what is inside of him.

All of us have thoughts and ideas! And that includes guys!

I see it in the media business and I see it on social media. I can't tell you how many times I scroll through Pinterest and see an image of a shirtless male actor or celebrity that a girl has pinned to a board called something like "My Dream", "Mr. Perfect", "DUDES", "hot guys", or something of that nature. Usually I proceed to unfollow that nauseating board.

Ladies, what if we found out guys were doing the same thing to us? And labeled our bodies as something to be fantasized over and stared at? What do we do when we discover that a man we trust is viewing pornography? It's a destructive addiction I believe can be overcome and forgiven, with the appropriate steps, but does it not make us feel incredibly upset and hurt and unappreciated and even inadequate?

I am all for women speaking up and using their voices and sharing a unique feminine perspective. I don't believe in male dominance. Throughout the span of history, women have been objectified and unrecognized and even shamed. But in our pursuit for "equality" as women, can we please not do the very thing to men that we accuse them of doing to us?

We are each children of God. We were created with unique talents and abilities. Every person has something to offer intellectually, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Will you choose to value someone as a soul, and not an object?

I think it can make all the difference in this frighteningly materialistic world.